Faith, Spirit & Song

It isn’t so much the First reading of the day that had me thinking. It was the Gospel, reading…

Is it easier for me to say something kind and uplifting to someone? Is it difficult? People say I make them feel better when they speak to me, that I’m easy to speak with. 

Which makes me wonder about people, in general. Is it really hard to find a few good things, kind things, a blessing, to share with someone…?

We underestimate the power of little things that bring people comfort. A hello, a thought, a reconnection….

We dont have to do great things… but little things in a great way…

But the greatness and smallness arises from the passage mentioning people questioning Jesus’ authority to forgive sins… and I find myself dwelling over the premise of reconciliation once again.

This reinforces my struggle to grasp… ‘Only God can forgive sins.’ and Jesus has given his disciples and through the church, the Pope, priests and Bishops the authority to forgive sins…. But I question those priests who have fallen, in their own sinfulness – priests whom I know and others whom I have seen and heard about. Have they not violated their covenant with God? Are they, after all their human faults (& I don’t know how they repent, it’s not my business – it’s between them and God)… but, how, do I seek absolution from them knowing they have fallen?

Do I confess to a priest I know and trust for absolution? So that I feel the shame and remorse truthfully?

Or do I make it easier and go to a faraway parish in another city / country to make my confession? Thinking I’ll never meet this Priest again?

Or do I find a priest who doesn’t speak English? Again, never to feel my shame and guilt?

Or is that just a loophole I’m looking for?

Or, with all these doubts and questions, if I have truly repented and had lain my sins in front of God, in my teary, snotty, deeply private conversation with him… truly remorseful and assuring that I will never repeat the sin again…and if I truly believe that he has forgiven me, because God is not afraid of our sins… and because God wants us to allow Him to love us.

Then…

Would that be enough?